Running Mad

The reason I was mad isn't really relevant, only that I was mad. Very mad. Now normally when I am mad I find my way to the kitchen open a bag of whatever and start to eat. I am usually stuffed long before the anger is gone and I am then angry that I ate so much and still angry about whatever it was in the first place. But this time I walked right past the kitchen and right out the door. And I kept walking. My body naturally pulled me into the woods and as soon as I passed that clearing I was gone. I found my anger was motivating. I ran til my heart was beating fast and the sweat was pouring off of me. I ran til the sound of my foot steps beat a steady rhythm. I ran til the anger was nothing more than a thought. I slowed down and caught my breath and started my conversation with God. I asked him to help take away the anger and to help me to find a solution to my problem. As I talked my heart became lighter and so did my step. I found my conversation with God was cut into small patches as I would take off through the woods.

Now it was already after 6 p.m. when I left my house and the night was beginning to fall while I was in the woods. What I didn't expect was the storm that was coming in. I had about a mile or so to go when the temperature dropped. One second I was warm and the next I knew something was about to happen. The wind picked up and the trees began to sway. I could hear the wind and I just prayed that it would hold off til I got out of there.

I know the woods pretty well. I have been going there for years and I know that paths. But when the clouds came through and the sky got dark, well I admit I was a little nervous. Making out the path was a hard. There was no running at this point, it was very careful walking. Roots jumped up and grabbed at my feet and I'll admit at one point I fell. I didn't panic though because I knew that God was with me and that I would make it through the woods alright.

I had maybe a quarter of a mile left when the rain started to fall. I could hear it on the leaves for about a moment before it hit me. I knew it was going to be a crazy storm so I just accepted it and kept on trekking. I finally made it out of the woods and into the rain. It only took seconds for me to get drenched. I was walking home smiling when I thought hmm, I could easily run here. So I did. I ran home. My anger was a thing of the past. God was washing away my frustrations.

I made it home a drowned rat. I stripped when I got in the laundry room, grabbed a clean towel and headed to my room. My family had no idea it was raining. They looked at me like I was nuts, walking through the house wet and dripping. Did I really sweat that much? I went to my room and threw on some clothes, knowing that no matter what the rest of the day had to offer I was alright because God was there to comfort me.

Time for a prayer.

Dear God, Thank You for today. Thank You for the wonderful people in my life. Thank You for loving me and washing away my frustration and anger. Thank You for giving me the strength and wisdom to know when to say something and what to say. God, please be with Kristen and her family as they mourn the sudden loss of her grandma. I know she will need your support and comfort. Please be with those who are suffering, wash away their pain and bring them comfort in your arms. In Your name we pray. Amen

A New Chapter

So I made Dave go to the doctor. It's the first time he has gone in years, probably about 9 years or so. We wanted him to get a full check up. Get to know the new doctor and get the basic blood work done. We were there a total of 20 to 25 minutes. That included the blood work. LOVIN the new doc. So they told us if everything is fine than he doesn't need to come back for a year or so. But if there is anything wrong then they will call us and let us know. Well Friday morning I got a call from the doctor. Dave cholesterol is great. All the other stuff great, except his blood sugar. Not so great. My husband is pre-diabetic. In six months he has to go back and do it all over again.

I am not going to say I am shocked by this. I have had a feeling for a while that something wasn't right. He had all the signs. The thirst, the bathroom use, the cravings, the cramps in his legs because he is so dehydrated. He also eats 3 sandwiches a day at work. My husband, if he knows it or not is a carb junky. I should say was. It is the beginning of a new chapter in our house.

See it finally hit him this morning. The truth of it all. What he did was shocking to say the least. My husband ate oatmeal. Now before this the only oatmeal he has eaten was cookies.  So oatmeal in a bowl with fresh blueberries and almonds was something I never thought I would see. He wasn't a big fan, but he knew it was better than the 3 or 4 eggs he would have scarfed down otherwise. He knows what the future holds if he doesn't get this under control now.

I am really excited about all this. I hate to say I am happy that he is in this situation, but I know it is what we need to finally turn it all around. Dave's uncle lost both of his legs to diabetes. He has watched so many of his relatives deal with it. He doesn't want to be in that boat. So today we went for a walk. The four of us put on our tennis shoes and grabbed some water and headed out to some local trails. We had a good time. Austin of course ran and jumped and enjoyed it and Alexis only complained for a little bit. Dave and I took in the smell of the woods and the enjoyment of being together.

Tonight's dinner wont be on bread or tortilla shells, another one of our favorite carbs. No tonight we eat with rice. Strips of fajita style steak cuts mixed with onion and garlic and a little olive oil. I might throw some corn in there. I love corn! Just sayin.

I tried to get Dave to join the gym. He thought about it, which is more than I expected, and he said no in the end. Dave hates a contract and the gym is a minimum 6 month contract. I think he expected me to fight him about it, but I didn't see the point. If he doesn't want to go he doesn't want to go. I am not going to force him to do it. I will just be happy if he gets a little exercise in a day. I know not to push him because the minute I do all that we have accomplished goes out the window. So I will take what I can. It is great to have someone in the same mindset as me. I know together we will be a force to be reckoned with.

Well I am going to do my prayer thing and then I am going to take a nap. I love my sleep and I get it as much as I can.

Dear God, Thank You for today. Thank You for the love you give us. For the trees and the birds in them. For adventure that is right around the corner waiting for us to find it. Thank You for my husband and kids. I am so very blessed. Thank You for opening our eyes. I know I am not always the best christian but I know that You love me and you will help me to be a better one. God, please help us to fight the cravings and demons of food as we work hard to get ourselves healthy. I know I will need all the strength I can get. Please watch over us. In Your name we pray. Amen

Most Exhilerating Run Yet

I woke about 5:20 a.m. and couldn't fall back asleep. So I grabbed my water bottle, mp3 player and my skele-toes shoes and headed out into the cool wet morning. I decided not to head out to the beach as I have been for the past few weeks and instead headed to the woods.

It was still a little dark out when I got into the woods. The sun hadn't truly risen yet. It was just a soft glowing thought in the sleepy blacks and blues of night. But that didn't bother me. Running is something I am not all that great at, but I found that the woods were calling me. I picked up my pace. Weaving through the dew soaked branches, trying not to trip over roots that rose up to great me. My feet always seemed to find the right place to land. Never twisting or tripping, just earth under me pushing me along.

Now I'm not saying I ran the whole time. Oh no, that would be a lie. I ran til my body would scream and then I would slow to a walk. I would check my phone for the time and was shocked by how little time had passed since the last time I had checked it. I felt like I had been running forever. I know those trails and I know how long it takes to get to certain parts. I always felt like I had run or walked for at least 20 minutes, but in the end it was more like 5. I didn't know if that was discouraging or encouraging. So I went with the latter. At one point I came upon a meadow to the east. I could see the sun coming up. It hadn't broken above the trees yet, but it was peaking its glorious head up over the tall grasses. I don't know if it was the sun or the song I was listening to, but a smile spread across my face and I took off again.

I had done the loop that led me back to the main trail and stopped to catch a quick breath when it happened. The sun had broken through the trees. The forest was alive. Soft rays of light filtered through the leaves. The small specks of dust danced in the beams and insects seemed to bask in the morning light. I could see the small pools of dew in the fallen leaves and glistening off the tall grass. The spider webs that kept stringing themselves across my face were now visible and avoidable. I was frozen there for a moment. The beauty was beyond me, It engulfed me and I was lost in its brilliance.

I must have stood there a good two or three minutes. The whole time I was thinking, wow, God gave me all of this. He wanted me to get up early and come here for this reason. There was a message of patience I needed for today. I think he was setting me up for something greater today. I didn't find out til later what it was he wanted me to do, but I knew when it happened that this was the reason. The lord truly does work in mysterious ways.

I finished my run with a song in my heart and a bounce in my step. In one hour I had done a little under 5 miles. My muscles ached and I was wet from dew and sweat. I think I smelled like I had been running through the dessert, naked, with out deodorant for 5 days.Dave told me not to run in the woods. That I would fall and break my leg, but I am pretty sure that God had my back this morning. He had bigger plans for me today.

I like being an instrument of God. I like doing his work and helping others. I think that he puts us in certain places at certain times for certain reasons. I am learning not to second guess things as much. A wrong turn or slower traffic or choosing to go to one place over another. You never know if around that next curve there is someone waiting for you.

Well I am getting a little chatty and I think it is time to go. So I am going to offer a prayer here.

Dear God, Thank You for today. Thank You for the wonderful people in my life. I am so very blessed to have them. Thank You for bringing me out and showing me all the beauty around me. Some days I take for granted the sun rising and setting. Thank You for another year with my family and friends. God please be with Marge Pearson and her family while they deal with her latest health crisis. Please help them to make the best decisions for her. Please be with my Friend Carrie whose Grandma passed on the 12th. I know she is with You now. Also be with Sandee as she continues to morn the loss of her mom. In Your name we pray. Amen

finally coming off

Well I am a happy camper. The pounds are finally coming off. I am so freaking excited I want to jump up and down and dance, like in those tampon commercials! Only this is much much better. I finally found my way back to the 240's.It looks like the week of walking on the beach and using the spinners at Anytime Fitness have been paying off.

Yesterday I went for a walk with my husband. Poor man, the woods don't like him. We spent a while picking berries and then went into the woods for a hike. Well he was dive bombed by deer flies and covered in tics. I finally told him lets go. He had 23 tics on him and I had 5. So we get all cleaned off and we head out to another trail that is more defined and we start all over again. I like this one more because there were hills and it had a wider path. We had the choice between the mile route and the 1/2 mile route. I said mile and he said something to the effect of over doing it on the first time out. I said its just a mile. So we walked and we talked and sometimes we said nothing at all, we just walked and enjoyed the scenery.

I am very lucky to have the husband I have. He is willing to go outside and do things with me. A bike ride, a walk, a hike, you name it. He will also encourage me when I say I'm going running on the beach. I am headed to the gym or whatever. He and I both have weight issues, his aren't nearly as bad as mine, but we both need to lose some weight. It's nice because I encourage him and he encourages me. We are a team and I like it that way.

I have had more energy lately too. This morning I cut the grass in the dog yard and I watered my plants and had a very long conversation with Dave. All in all I got it all done in 1.5 hours. I look forward to my morning run/walk with Becky. It starts my day off right. I feel alive when I am finished and I can jump in the lake. If it gets much better than this I don't know what I will do with myself.

On a less enjoyable note I finally got a Doctors appointment. I am going to have this mole on my cheek checked out and I am going to have my hip checked out. I cant keep going like this. I cant put my right foot on my left knee. I cant turn the hip enough to look at the bottom of my foot. It is hard putting a shoe on my right foot. It's past time for this to be done. So I go Wednesday. I am seeing a new Dr. As much as I love my old one it was time that we broke up. He has just gotten to the point where he pushes pills now and I don't want to deal with that.

Well the kids are knocking and the fireworks are getting ready to get under way so I am going to go. Here's a little prayer.

Dear God, Thank You for today. Thank You for good friends and happy hearts. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for a wonderful weekend with my husband and kids. Thank You. I ask that you be with my dear friend Sandee as she morns the loss of her mom. Also be with my friend who is struggling with her own issues. She needs Your support. Please be with those who are struggling. Those who fight the fight in their own heads and hearts. Those who fight addiction and those who are helpless to stop their loved ones from hurting. In Your name we pray. Amen

Remember Walking in the sand...

Five points to anyone who can tell me what song that is from. Just a little trivia.

I started a new chapter in my weight-loss book. The outdoor exercising. I know I have done two 5K's and a relay, but those are one time events. This is a constant. And I am very proud of myself for doing it. I started running on the beach. The first time was a short one because I was alone and I just wanted to see if I could do it. I did the walk/shuffle/jog method. At this point it is working great for me. I always find way points and say ok I'm starting here and I have to make it to that sign or that can or that person. Then I don't give up. Even when I feel like I made the way point a little to far I push myself to get there. Sometimes I go farther. I say ok time to make it to the next pole. I feel so good when I do this because I am setting that goal and reaching it. I know it is very small, but its a goal and every step counts.

I bought myself some water running shoes for the beach and I honestly love them, but the liners keep coming out and I can't get them to stick. So if I cant fix it this time I am going to go buy another pair. This time I think I might go somewhere else and get them. I dont want the same thing to happen again.

Our route is 3 miles. Half of it is sand the other half is parking lot. Becky mapped it out for us so we could get close to our 5K distance. Becky has pushed me and I feel so much better hen she is there with me. She keeps me honest.

Last week we ended up jumping in the lake when we were done. The water was so nice. I could see the  ripples of sand at the bottom as I walked in. I know people complain and say the beach is so gross. But I'll tell ya what, there something special about the beach that you dont get at a pool. The water was clear, the waves were soft, the air was hot and smelled of summer. I didnt want to leave.  But life was calling. I know I will be back there tomorrow. Running along the soft sandy shore, pushing myself to go a little farther, dig a little deeper. And I know my best friend will be there to push me along.

So I havent done it in a while but it is time for a prayer. So here goes.

Dear God, Thank You for today. Thank You for the love of my family and friends. Thank You for bringing people into my life who change it for the better every day. I am so blessed to have so much. Thank You for my husband whose love and understanding strengthen me when I am weak and support me in all I do. God please be with those who are suffering. Please be with my Grandma Kelly and my Uncle Marlin as they deal with their health issues and please be with their caregivers. No one understands what its like to be a caregiver until they are in that place. Please help someone very special to me as she struggles with issues in her personal life and help her to know that I am there for her and that You will guide her where she needs to be in life. In your name we pray. Amen