Seems like I spend a lot of time thinking about time. Do I have time to do this or that. How much time will it take for me to get to this appointment or that. Do I have time to make a pie? Or take a nap? Or think? I know there are only 24 hours in a day. But sometimes I wish there were ore, then I think about it and if there were more hours in a day I would still be screwed because I would cram even more crap in.
Last week I went to the Neuropsychologist. 5 hours we spent together. It didn't seem that long so I cant complain to much. But it was an hour drive to get there and an hour home, with no radio. I have to do it again this week. But now that my car is fixed I don't mind it to much. (because I now have a radio!)
Truth be told I shouldn't complain. My friend Becket, she has time worries. She has cancer. Thyroid cancer. She just found out. She is one of the greatest people I know. She is a strong independent woman who started her own business with her friend and they are doing great. She has two great kids and a wonderful Boy friend. Life for Becket was going good. Til she had poison ivy she couldn't shake and she was feeling worn down. A visit to the doctor sent her world into a tail spin and that is when time for her changed. The time between waiting for tests to be done and results to be shared. Time between doctors office and surgery. Time to spend with her kids. Time that wasn't consumed by cancer and free. How many days do you get where cancer isn't at the front of your brain? Not many. How many times can you say I love you? How much time do I have to say you're important to me?
But she also counts her time now. The time she gets to play cards with her family. Or the time she gets to spend watching T.V. with her daughter or helping her son with his homework. She counts the time where she gets to fall into her boyfriends arms and cry. She also spends time praying. Really praying and listening. There is a lot of time involved with that. I am so inspired by her strength and her views on time.
As we sat at her table eating a wonderfully yummy pie I made, she told me she felt like it was all she talked about any more. Cancer, cancer, cancer. But I asked her, If she was planning a wedding wouldn't that be all she talked about? The dress, the food, the rings...? So how is this different? It is a point in her life that is very important. It is what her world focus's around. CANCER!! It's OK to talk about it. And that I had all the kinds of time to listen.
Tomorrow she goes into surgery again. I know what time she goes in and I know what time she should be out. I know how long her hospital stay will be and I know when she should be home. I know that after this surgery and the possible radiation to follow, she will have more time.
Tonight I helped Austin with his homework. I did it with patience and I realized it took 1/4 of the usual time. I sat down on the couch with him and let him read to me. I didn't look at the clock, or bother with anything else. I just enjoyed the time I had with him. He just got done spending time with his dad watching a dumb ass t.v. show. This morning I took the time to walk with a friend. Then I took the time to watch what I ate.
I know I'll forget how much time means to me. How important certain things can be. Life will get busy and things with get crazy. I wont stop to smell the roses. But I know that one afternoon when I am feeling like life is falling down around me and I will think about Becket and the world will slow down to my pace and I will enjoy my kids and husband. I will have a beer or two or a piece of pie with friends and I will know that God is good and he has given more than enough time.
Dear God, Thank You for today! Thank You for the wonderful friends who hold me up and for the friends who allow me to help them up too. Thank You for showing me that time is not a losing thing. That I can enjoy my time with people I love. Please be with Becket tomorrow and every day after that. Watch over her surgeon and nurses. Please help comfort her kids and those who love her. In your name I pray. Amen
1 comment:
Time is a hot commodity. We all want more of it. To fill up with appointments, schedules and activities, just like we fill up our houses with stuff, we don't need or even want.
If we take the time to fill up our day with seeking God the rest wil fall into place.
Thank you Tina for reminding me to use my time wisely love ya mom
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