To Fat To Ride!

So before I came and sat down to write this I was standing in the kitchen eating a piece of homemade honey white bread dipped in left over soy whiskey glaze from dinner. OMG it was amazing. Just sayin. But I had already had dinner. Lex had already made me a milk shake. I should not have been eating anything else. I know I need water but the cooler is out and I can't gag down well water. So I haven't been drinking my water as I should. This and many other habits are part of the reason I am bordering on to fat to ride.

Yep ya heard me, borderline. I fit on all the rides, just barely. When I went to ride with someone else on one ride we were to big together and had to sit in separate seats. I don't know how this person felt but I was embarrassed because everyone was looking at us. Oh let me back track. We went on our annual trip to Indiana Beach. Dave is on vacation and we try to go there for a day every year. It is just enough amusement park for us to handle and the price can not be beat. But back to the blog at hand. To fat to ride. Yes, yes

One ride we went on the bar came down on its own and it came within an inch or two of my boobs. Literally an inch. So that means it wasn't that far from my gut. My GUT! GUT! I hate it I hate it I hate it. But as I mentioned at the beginning of the post I eat like crap. If I keep up the way I eat next year I wont be able to fit at all.

Here's the deal. When I work out I burn a decent amount of calories. But I come home and I stuff my face with crap. So everything I burned is filled right back up. I try to tell myself tomorrow I wont eat like shit. I will make it to the gym. I will do this I will do that and and and.... nothing.

I started a new challenge at the beginning of the month. I started a 40 day devotional challenge. I know you are probably thinking OK one extreme to the other. Here we are talking about being obese and now she is talking about God. WTF? I do have a point just follow the soy whiskey glazed bread crumbs.

So I started this challenge and it has been 7 days. In that seven days I have begun to realize that a lot of what I am reading in my devotionals can also be focused towards food. Tada... here is the link. Jesus Calling is the name of one of the books. The other is 40 Days With Jesus, Celebrating His Presence.   They are so amazing. I was reading a page the other day and I realized how well it would work with food. Now I don't expect to become an amazing Christian over night. I don't expect to change the way I feel about food or treat it to change over night either. Yes I ate the crappy bread, yes I know it was bad. But I wont go throw it up. I cant change the past. But I can remember to try to change the decisions I make for the future. I believe that the relationship I am forming with God will also change the relationship I have with food. One moment at a time. I wont eat anymore tonight. I have to run to CVS to get meds so I might even pic up a bottle of water and get that in. But I know, I can feel that I am changing every day. Little by little.

Foot note (ha ha I love that) I went for my physical therapy eval. on my foot. He looked at me and said that my left leg is only working at 50% while my right is 80%. That my problems are stemming from my back. Back to right hip, right hip to left knee, left knee to left foot. Fantastic. So we are going to treat all 4 this time instead of little bits at a time. I am curious as to how this is going to make me feel. I think I will be working hard. But until then no running, *sigh*. I will get there. I have a 5k in November that I have to do so I need to get my butt in gear.

OK time for prayer.

Dear God, Thank You for today. Thank You for giving me the tools to have a closer relationship with you. You are amazing and I am so glad to be speaking with you again. Thank You for my family and for the patience I am trying to use when I am dealing with my kids. Thank You for the amazing women I am on this journey with. God please be with those who are suffering. Please be with the person who couldn't fit on the ride with me. They struggle greatly. Please be with me as I figure this all out. In Your name I pray. Amen