Do You have a resolution?

I have been thinking about this resolution thing. Every year I seem to set high goals for myself and every year I seem to fall flat. Like on year I made the resolution to learn to belly dance. Don't ask why I just did. So Becky and I got a belly dancing tape, TAPE. Yeah its been that long. We sat at my house and watched it before we were insane enough to try it. Half way through I realized my resolution was insane, but I was going to try it any way. After all this is a beginners tape. Beginner? Really, I couldn't even get my hands to do the right thing and when we stood up to try the beginners basic move, well I don't know about Becky, but I felt like a drunk monkey. To say I don't have rhythm is an understatement. I figured that maybe this was an exercise best done without an audience. For a week I did this thing. I tried to get my hips to sway and my hands to move in a fashion that resembled the instructor on t.v. But these hips are not meant for swaying. I can't even hoola hoop! I always made sure to finish before Dave got home for work. We weren't married at that time and I still had an image to keep up. Dave knew I was trying this and he had asked when I would put on a show. YEAH RIGHT! I will show ya a video of a woman belly dancing but it wont be me. In the end I did the tape for a month. A long long month. I still looked like a  pear dangling from a tree in the middle of a wind storm, but Dave didn't laugh to hard. If the resolution is considered kept or not I still learned I can't dance.

Another year I resolved to quit smoking. I think I made that resolution for 13 years. I smoked for 15. I always said my kids need me to quit. I need to do it for my health. It's to expensive... In the end it was my last surgery that did the trick. I was in the hospital for a week and I couldn't drive for another 2. No one was willing to buy them for me. So I quit. February 8th 2007. I'll tell ya the truth. I miss it. If it wasn't for the kids and Dave I would probably still smoke. But I am glad I quit. I just wish I had the smarts to have put the money away. I would be rolling in it.

One year I resolved to keep a journal, all year. Every day! I did great through 2 journals, but by the third one, mid summer, I was done. I am one of the most boring, whiny, annoying people I ever met. I can't figure out how to organize my way out of a paper bag. I still struggle to make sure I pay the bills. Most of the time they get lost between the mail box and the table. I over spend and under clean. My house could use a make over. But lord please don't let me do it. Every time I make a decision Dave and Herb shake their heads. I don't think the house will ever be finished. I just can't make up my mind. I figured this all out when I sat there and read these two journals of disaster. I made myself cringe when I read the mood swing of the month book. My poor poor family. I decided that maybe a journal isn't for me. Only because I don't want to look back and say "Man, I was a real Bitch."

This year I resolve to have no resolutions. I am going to do my best to just keep going. I will continue this blog and I will continue to work on losing weight. But I will not SET a goal. Every time I do I set myself up to fail. I will continue to grow my relationship with God, my kids, my husband and my family. I will enjoy the sunshine on my face and the wind in my hair, and maybe just maybe I will find a Belly Dancing DVD and give it a try.




I am gonna get back on my Cancun log, I swear. It isn't a resolution. But it is a "keep going."