The dad I needed you to be

Biology doesn't make someone a dad any more than a tiara makes me the Queen! Any male can be a father, it takes someone amazing to be a dad. I am blessed to have someone like that as my dad. I just didn't really know it til I was older. I was a major pain in his ass when I was growing up. I know he asked my grandma, Why can't she just shut up? I guess I just had a lot to say, shocking right? I try not to annoy him as much as I used to and he always knows that I will be going home soon so he smiles and shakes his head.

My dad...

I don't know if I explained this before when I was talking about my mom but I am going to go over it again so everyone knows. My dad is mine. He is my sister Micci's and my sister Dana's also. But when we speak we always say "My mom" or "My dad". Even when we are talking to each other. Dana is a little better about saying mom or dad. But Micci and I almost always refer to them as mine. Just a little background info there.

Anywho, my dad, my ABBA (look up the definition, I am not calling my dad the dancing queen). I can't tell you how many times this man has saved me. When I was in high school he tackled me as I tried to run out of the house. My intentions were to kill myself and thanks to a friend of mine, Jill, my parents knew what was going on. My dad saved me from me. When I was having a crisis of faith after Poppy died it was my dad who comforted me and helped me to find my way. My dad has been a rock. He has always been there for me to lean on even when he himself wasn't strong. I remember when we found out he had M.S. I can't tell you how scared I was. My biological father had left me and hadn't looked back. Truth is I don't think I ever really knew him, only that he didn't want to be a father anymore. I was terrified that my dad was going to die and that would be two fathers I had lost. By the way, that little nugget of information has taken me YEARS of therapy to get to. So I hated him. I fought with him, I turned away from him and I tried very hard not to love him. I was afraid of the heart break I would have to live with if he left me too. But he never did.

My parents have been married for 31 years. When I was 4 years old my dad saved me. He adopted me. He gave me his name. I stood before a judge and when he asked me if I wanted him to be my dad I said he already is. Now this is a memory of a 4 year old. If this is not how it happened please do not tell me otherwise. It is a cherished memory that I want to keep. He gave me his name. He told everyone in the world that he LOVED ME enough that he wanted me to be his daughter. I may not always live up to the name he gave me but I know I have always been proud to have his name.

I dated men like my bio. I had kids with men like my bio. But in the end I married a man just like my dad. Dave is the other man in my life who saved me. He too gave me his name. I am proud to be his wife. He is a great father. Like my dad he has always treated my kids like they are his own. Some days I see it in the things that he says or does and I realize he may not have been in the room when they were born but he has been there for all the other milestones along the way. It didn't take biology it just a moment in time and a hug.

I have been blessed with many great men in my life. All of them teaching me as I went along the way. I think of them often. I talk about them with my kids. Sometimes we cry, sometimes we laugh, but most of the time we smile and say, "Yeah, he was a great man. I miss him, too"

So here's to all of them. For Poppy and Grandpa Kelly, Happy Fathers Day. I miss you! To Al 'Papa' Morse, Happy Fathers Day. I miss you. To my Great-Grandpa Don, Happy Fathers Day! I am glad we have the chance to celebrate another one together. To my amazingly wonderful husband, Dave, Happy Fathers Day. We love you!

To my Dad, Daddy, Papa Bear, Beef and every other name we have affectionately called you over the years. Happy Father's Day! Thank You for being the dad I needed you to be.

Dear God, Thank You for today. Thank You for being the Father we as your children have needed you to be. Thank You for saving me, for loving me enough to call me your child. Thank You for helping me to grow, for forgiving me my sins and knowing I am imperfect and loving me anyway. Thank You for the wonderful men in my life. Amen