Passion

I started this blog and erased it because I was complaining and I don't think that is a good way to go about things. I am trying to put things into perspective and it can be difficult at times. But sometimes it needs to be done. Here I am whining about little things while someone I love very dearly woke up this morning and didn't know where she was at. Someone I grew up with is watching his 2 year-old lose his hair while he battles medical issues I can't even begin to comprehend. I have a headache. That's all. I have to remember to be grateful.

I am on day 4 of a 7 day cleanse. I have lost weight but the official weigh in isn't until Monday so I can say for sure how much yet. As of today I have lost a total of 4 pounds in the past 4 weeks. Slow and steady wins the race. One pound after another. I know some weeks it may be more and some weeks it may be less, but I am happy for any loss I can get.

While I have been doing this cleanse I have begun to realize how much crap I eat and how bad I snack. OMG I have been ticking away the times I would have gone and gotten a snack. And , AND the middle of the night snacking. I have been praying at night for wisdom. That's it just wisdom. And when I wake up in the middle of the night to let the dogs out or to go to the bathroom I remind myself that I don't need food, that it is just a mind trick, a craving, a residual haunt if you will. It is something to fill the time and my stomach. But I don't need it. I don't need a handful or three of peanuts. I don't need a tortilla shell slathered in butter. I don't need peanut butter or a cookie or anything else. If I need anything it is a swig of water and maybe an ibuprofen and then back to bed. I have been learning this again. I know I have talked about this but it is something I forget and often.

Valentines Day is right around the corner and I have been trying to decide what to get the kids. Dave and I don't get each other anything. Dave calls it a Hallmark Holiday. So more than likely Becky and I will be each others Valentine's and go out to lunch. So I think for Valentines I and going to forgo the chocolates and candies. I am getting them each a small gift and I am cooking us all a nice dinner. Something we all like. I have to think about it for a bit. I want it to be healthy. We need to start thinking about our hearts again.

Some how I became the team captain for the Relay for Life team at Anytime Fitness. I am really excited about this. A few years ago I had nothing in life I was passionate about. I was an average parent, friend, wife, person. But now I am finding things that make me want to work harder. Things I want to accomplish and be a part of. I am honored to be a leader with my sons scout troop. I found this Relay for Life thing to be a blessing in disguise. I know I am not the best employee but I do love my job. I just wish my body loved it too. (Sorry Becket and Vickory)I have started losing weight and I am proud of myself. I have found hope and pride in my life. I don't want to lose that.

Well I am going to pray and then enjoy the rest of my night.

Dear God, Thank You for today. Thank You for the chance to live another day as your child. Thank You for loving me. Today God I pray for wisdom. Not just for myself but for many. For the doctors and nurses who care for people like my grandma and my uncle and little Noah. I pray for wisdom for those whose serve our country. I pray for wisdom for myself so that I can make the right decisions for my family and for my life so that I might live a life that is Christian. In Your name I pray.
Amen