Sunday, March 10, 2013

bad blogger

I haven't been such  a great blogger  lately. My heart and my head aren't in it. I have a lot to say and I feel a million different  ways every day. But it is hard for me to oput it down. Everything is so raw and I cry all the time. Just the thought of her,  the mention of her name or the loneliness that comes when I realize she is gone, send me on a crying jag that tears me apart. I know that it gets better. I know the immediate sting of loss goes away and that one day I will think of her and it wont hurt anymore. But I am not there.

My grandma was an avid reader. One of her favorite stories was that by the time she was 12 she had read all the books in the kids portion of her public library. The librarian allowed her to go upstairs and get The Count of Monte Cristo. So my sister is on a mission. Gram would have been 80 this year. So she is collecting 80 books to donate to that library. And since that is going so well she is collecting another 80 for a different library. I have amazing sisters.

I think I am going to go lay down. I will try this again later

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