Mirrors

I have 1.5 mirrors in my house. The medicine cabinet in the bathroom and a full length mirror that now hangs on the bathroom door. Once upon a time the full length hung on the other side of the bathroom door, but the over the door hangers holding it on broke and for a long time it has sat propped up against the wall. The medicine cabinet only shows to just below the shoulders. So I never see the rest of my body in that one and the full length was always at a weird angle so I never got a good look at myself in that one. So I was kind of piecing myself together.

Well let me tell you, I do NOT like the mirror where it is now. I don't know who that mirror thinks it is to add so much damn weight but there is no way it is right. It must be a trick mirror. It has to be because there is no way I am that large.

But I am.

I am not two off kilter images melded together, I am one person, one body, one mind. I saw myself today, all of me and I was ashamed. I try not to look in mirrors when I try something on. Trying on is so I can see if it fits. If it fits then maybe I will see if it looks good. I looked at myself in the mirror and it did not look good.

I am not going to let this send me into a crying eating binge. Nope, not this girl. I am going to use that mirror daily. I am going to look at myself. All of me, either while the kids sleep or maybe when no one is home. I am going to own this body because it is on the way out. I start my couch to 5k tomorrow. It would have been last week, but we got hit with a blizzard and my car died. So it has been a struggle. But you wanna know what I didn't do? I didn't freak out when all this was going on. When money was flying out the window for the car and the insulation that never got put up. I didn't panic. I just pulled my big girl panties up and figured it out.

OK a prayer and then I am going to go read the beginners running book that my loving husband bought me last year.

Dear God, Thank You for today. Thank You for the wonderful people I have in my life. I am a very blessed person. Thank You for my wonderful husband and my amazing kids. Thank You for dying on the cross for me and taking my sins away. Please be with those who are sick and suffering. Help those who are lost and love those who feel they are unlovable. In Your name we pray. Amen