The time has come. The choice has been made. I need to get off the pot! I have a great family and great friends. People who are here to support me, to listen to me and to help me through this journey. I need to put on my big girl panties and tie my shoes and step out there. So watch out world here I come.
Today my entire body is aching. But I am not complaining. I know it might sound like that. But I am actually smiling as I say that. In the past few days I have been very active and very physical and very very busy. I need to learn to be smarter with my food.
Thursday I did my best to get a round bale to a paddock. Now let me tell you this is something very challenging. A round bale obviously is round. But when it is sitting it gets a little flat on one side. It has also been out in the snow and thaw, and rain. When dry it weighs 900 pounds. When you push it across flat ground it can be done by one person easily. But the ground was not flat, the round bale was not flat and it was not dry. It took me 15 minutes pushing, shouldering, huffing, turning and praying just to get this thing about 30 feet. I hit a small bump and the bale refused to go any farther. I didn't consider it a failure. I got the bale closer for someone else. I got a great upper body work out. Man my shoulders are killing me today. I don't think I cussed it out either.
In 3 hours on Thursday morning I walked 2 miles.
Friday I went to the barn again. Again I was messing with those round bales. This time I had to peel that thing like an onion. I peeled off 5-10 pound sections and had to toss them over the fence for the horses. One every 10 to 15 feet. That is a pain.
But here is the part of the day that takes the cake...
Aidan was the one working. Lex and I had gone up there to pick our stalls and do some other minor stuff. Well there is this horse Neela, who has a nasty gash on her back leg. Its on the bottom by her ankle, so you have to get down low. Cleaning it is gross and she hates it. Well Aidan was holding her and I was cleaning her cut. She turned the right way and she get me to turn the wrong way. She cow kicked me to the chest and sent me flying. I might have been able to recover if I hadn't been so close to the ground. But I went flying backward and hit the wall and then hit the ground. It was not pretty. I didn't feel the pain right away. All I felt was a hurt sense of pride. I got up. Traded places and helped him finish the cleaning. She got her shot. I put her out to the paddock and told her she was a good girl. I finished my stuff inside and called it a day. It took about an hour and the pain hit. Dave was a nice guy he got us Papa Johns for dinner. I had 3 pieces and a bread stick, not the best choice. But I didn't have to cook.
I didn't let it keep me down long. Later that night I was breaking it down to Funky Town on Dance Central with Lexi. I found something that we all like. Its fun and it doesn't feel like exercise.Found out this white girl can NOT dance lol.
Today I plan on breaking it down with my 2 favorite people again. I don't know what all I will do. My arms don't really want to raise above my head and my back feels like I got slammed up against a wall. But I think I dance to some Funky Town and Poker Face. I don't care if the kids beat me. I'm just in it for the time together.
Lets take this time to say a prayer.
Dear God, Thank you for today. Thank you for the ache in my muscles. Proof that I fully capable of living an active life thanks to you. Thank you God for opening my eyes to the barn, for leading me down that path. I don't know if I would be there with out you. God I am amazed every day by the beauty that you have laid out in front of me that I had not been able to see because I was so lost in the darkness. Please help me to stay in the light. Help me to walk in a world where all things are possible. To learn to love life. To get knocked on my bottom and to get up, dust myself off and continue on. I could have sat there God. I could have let that horse get the better of me. I could have cried. But I didn't God. I got up. I need you now more then ever. I need you to guide me God. I want to be a better person. When I am weak God, please help me to stand. When I feel like my muscles cant take anymore push me just a little bit further. I am building a foundation for a healthier life mentally, physically and spiritually. I can't do it without you and the help of the people I love most. My family and my friends. Amen
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