I wanted to say Thank you to everyone for reading my blog. I cant tell you how much I appreciate all of you!! I don't know if I would have been blogging for as long as I have if it wasn't for the support of my friends and family. Every time I hear someone tell me, "I hear ya", "Been there done that", "Your not alone", or they share a personal story about their journey I know that I am not in this alone. And when I hear people say, "I'm proud of you.", I knew you could do it!" Good Job!" I feel a sense of pride. I am overwhelmed with happiness and to be honest I tear up a little because I have such wonderful friends and I am so thankful for all of you. So I wanted to tell you all that I couldn't do this without you. Thank you!!
I spent this past week on vacation with the kids. We went away for 5 days. I had no cell reception, which was kind of hard. I felt kind of lost and relieved at the same time. There was wi-fi at a few of the rec buildings but not at my grandmas place, so we didn't get to play on the computer. We spent the days at the pool or the beach. We walked or rode our bikes. Well that is until Lexis bike got a flat and no amount of air could make it stay inflated. So we walked everywhere else. I spent hours each day in the pool, hanging on the wall at the deep end, kicking my feet and treading water. Sometimes when it was adult swim I would dive off the diving board. But other than that I spent most of the day soaking up the sun (I used an spf 50 sport sunscreen) and soaking in the water. The water in the pool and the lake was so soothing. It was refreshing on the hottest of days, and there were about 4 of those.
I felt like I was losing weight by the buckets, my clothes were getting looser. I felt better in my skin. I liked the reflection in the mirror. Dave told me when I got home I looked thinner. So did his friend. But I guess I was eating more than I realized. Because the scale went up. So maybe I lost some inches. I'm good with that. I just wish the scale had a better number for me.
Nothing in life is perfect. This vacation wasn't either. We had a lot of rough patches. There were a lot of times that reaching out and touching my children sounded like the only option. I'm tired of teen and pre-teen attitude. My mom tells me that it will only get worse and then in a few years it will get better. God I hope so. Because I think I may lose my mind! But I didn't let my anger or irritation with my kids become an excuse to eat. I instead tried to focus on the moments in front of me. The things I am thankful for. Things that make me happy. Like the time I went under the willow tree in the row boat with the kids. (The last time we went out there, it was to hot to go out this time).
I was thankful that I had a chance to walk the same path as a kid as the kids and I were taking to get to the beach. That was one of the things I tried to tell the kids about. How Micci, Dana and I would walk to the lake and swim all day long and then head back to the trailer all worn out from water and sun. We would fall asleep on the cots in the screened in porch while we waited for dinner to finish cooking. There was no air conditioning. We dealt with being sticky and hot. We didn't have 100 dish channels. we had an old TV with rabbit ears that might get 3 channels. We fished, we walked and on the weekends we went to the pavilion and we danced to the different bands. I was thin and happy and tanned. I ran and I played. And this past week I didn't feel 35. There were times I felt 12. I felt like I was young again. I felt the sun on my skin. I felt the breeze. I felt life being lived. I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to be a part of all this back here. But I knew I had to and I was Thankful for the fact I had a chance to have that. I am thankful for the fact I had those memories.
The bad part of all this is that since I didn't have cell phone service and computer service I didn't get mileage this week. I am still collecting it all. So I am not posting this weeks Cancun mileage. I will be posting it next week. I just don't have enough info from everyone to make it fair. So next week it will be two weeks worth of miles.
I had a great night last night at Summer Bash. I think I ate to much and I know I drank to much. But truth be told I don't party like that often. God knows I don't drink like that ever. That's probably why this blog has taken a total of 5 hours to write. I'm tired. But I am so happy I went. Thank you Micci and Timmy for inviting me. Thanks to everyone for such a great time.
I would like to take a moment to say a little prayer.
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