Breakfast of Champs

I was leaning up against the counter, peanut butter jar in one hand an a Hershey's bar in the other. I was running low on time and to be honest there wasn't anything that sounded better than a Hershey's bar dipped in peanut butter. So, I broke the bar into little pieces and dipped them in my peanut butter. It was like heaven swimming around my mouth. The mix of that creamy peanut butter and the frozen Hershey's bar was a food-gasm. Dave stared at me for a moment and then we continued our conversation. I told myself I got my chocolate fix, for that headache that had been forming, and peanut butter was filled with protein. And to be honest, I wasn't hungry again for about 7 hours after that. So peanut butter and chocolate for the win! Right? No, not really.

I noticed a pattern, after I ate my breakfast of champions, that this is as close to the definition of insanity as I can get. I do things over and over and over again expecting different results. But always getting the same ones. I can't eat like I'm the last one at the buffet and they close in 30 minutes. I don't know what I expect to find when I get on the scale. I didn't do anything different so why would my weight go down? Yet every time I get on the scale I get irritated by the numbers not going down.  HHmm. Ponder and wonder.

I decided to remind myself on a daily basis about my red dress project. So I had Lexi write the word dress on the inside of both of my wrists in red ink. I am going to see if that serves as a reminder to think about what I eat. Becky and I decided it was also time to get back to the basics of exercise. To what it was we were doing when we were happiest. So tonight I hit the treadmill for 60 minutes and then it is time to hit the weights. Back to the old routine. Back to strength training that actually meant something. Back to achy muscles and stiff bodies and sore joints. Back to the smile that comes from a good work out and a body that is starting to feel the effects. I'm so excited I could scream and I just might.

I'm not going to lie, since I told y'all about the peanut butter and Hershey's thing I am really thinking about it. Um Yum Yum Yum. That is part of my problem. When something gets in my head I can fight all I want but it always seems to end  with me having the thing I didn't want to have in the first place. I would say sleep is one of the few things that distracts me, but it isn't. I ate a bowl of tortilla chips at 3 this morning. Lexi caught me and instead of putting them away I just said yep, I'm doing it, oh well. That is a mind frame I have to get myself out of. But damn is it hard.

I'll be honest about something else. I am exhausted. I was eating chips at 3 a.m. because I couldn't sleep for the life or me. My hips were killing me and my legs were radiating pain and I was irritable and tired. But I couldn't sleep. Not that chips help. But they were there and I was bored and I ate most of them before the guilt kicked in.

One more moment of honesty. I need a nap. So I am going to cut this short. I feel like I am jipping you of something. Maybe it is my wit or charming personality. Maybe it is my in depth look at drama queens and the drama they bring with them or maybe it is just the fact that I know how to laugh and pray and hope and dream and share all of it with you. Who knows. All I know is that if this doesn't make sense I'm sorry. I'm so tired I'm falling asleep at the keyboard.

So we pray.
Dear God, Thank You for today. Thank You for the blessings of a family that loves each others so much. Thank You for traditions. I can't even tell You how much I missed Friday Night Taco Night with the family. Thank You for letting me spend time with these wonderful people. Thank You for children who are so interested in history and who want to know as much about their family and the worlds they lived in. I know that their questions brought a lot of happiness today. Thank You for loving me and blessing me. In Your name we pray. Amen