Hi, My name is Tina and I am a recovering drama queen. It has been at least a few hours since I heard juicy gossip. It has been almost 24 hours since I said a word about someone else and it has been a while since I intentionally started drama. I look at "drama queening" like over eating. You cant live with out food, well I cant live without a little bit of drama.
I have been dramatic since I was a little girl my grandma used to call me Sarah Bernhardt I had a flair for the dramatic a country mile wide. One Christmas when I was little I sang at the top of my lungs at the Christmas pageant so that my great gram down the street could hear me. I never stopped singing loudly. I just added hand movements and such with it. When I was in elementary school I wrote "Amy has big boobs" on the door of the bathroom stall. I was caught, obviously, because I wrote it in the girls bathroom during girl scouts and I made no attempt to change my handwriting. In my defense Amy did have big boobs. But I was jealous of them and I wanted to make them pay damn it. Well her boobs weren't the ones scrubbing the bathroom stalls after this came down. The moral of the story should be not to say anything mean or hurtful or whatever about others. I learned to go to the men's room and write with my left hand.
High School was when the full Drama Queen came out. I don't know if it was breathing the air in that building but something inside of me cried out for drama and I fed that something.I gave that bitch some drama-chip cookies and an attitude-shake. Oh it was insane to say the least. I was naive as a freshman. I had lived in Mayberry all my life so High School was culture shock for me. It was like throwing a country mouse in a city sewer and seeing if it could survive. I knew nothing about anything. So when I asked the guy I was seeing, Scott, to go to Turn About I was preparing for a dance the equivalent of prom. I was talking about ties and cumber buns and blah blah blah. He shook his head at me and when he finally broke up with me (FINALLY) I did my best to be the Drama Queen I knew I had in me. I stalked him. Oh yes I did. I would leave him dumb ass notes in his locker, walk up different stairs to see him, talk to my friend about my "boyfriend" in front of him and call him house and hang up. Yep I was that girl! This is about the time we found out I was Bi-Polar. I know it explains a lot now, but back then it was just plain old creepy. So to Scott, I am sorry. I wasn't in my right mind at all. Wasn't in my left one either.
Scott was not the last one to deal with freaky Tina. Oh no. I think that every boyfriend dealt with her to an extent. All but one. When he moved "suddenly" I don't remember ever being happier. Different story there. Drama doesn't end with guys, ha, drama likes to make her way into everything. Work, school, friends, baby daddy's. Now there was drama. I confess that I LIVED off the drama that came with Lexi's dad. He was like the cherry on a big fat Drama cake and I came with a fork and spoon. I don't know how many times we broke up, but I knew I couldn't live without him. At least not then. I confess that his drama made me feel better about myself and I think that is what drama is all about.
I will not say that I have been drama free since I met my husband. That would be a laughing lie. But I will say this. He has helped me to purge some of the drama. Him and my psychiatrist, my psychologist and Becky. They are my D.Q.A. (Drama Queens Anonymous.) But I just outed them so there goes the anonymous. I have seen my big fish get smaller and smaller. My country mile wide is getting a little more narrow. The country mouse is now just a mouse. I don't know if it is that I am tired of it or if it is I see people who are like me and they irritate the piss out of me. My talky doc said maybe its because I see in them the things that irritate me the most about me. Whatever it is I want to bitch slap some people and tell them "There is only room for one Queen in this room and I am holding the tiara." But shock treatment has made me more than happy to say, "Here is the tiara, enjoy!"
Now I live on the Outskirts of Dramaville. I am still a member of society but my drama is much smaller. Things like my dog passed away. I need to get the van fixed so I have heat in the winter. My kids are the Antichrist. And laughing behind someones back because they are way way to dramatic to be real.
Whatever the case might be I feel better on this side of the drama city limits.
Well time for a little prayer.
Dear God, Thank You for today. Thank You for loving me and making me your child. Thank You for the friends in my life, those who have kept it interesting and those who have helped to ground me. They are to numerous to list. Thank You for the family that dealt with me for all these years and saw through all the drama to the Tina who was waiting underneath. God please be with my Grandma Kelly and my Uncle Marlin as they continue on their journeys. Please be with my dear friend Sandee as she recovers from the shock of losing her brother. Please be with his wife Kathy. She may have been one of the people I had high drama with but she was a good person and she is suffering greatly right now. Please help to comfort them all. In your name I pray. Amen
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