Did I Say To Much?

I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast for Dave's birthday. Everyone was allowed to have two. I had 1 and I had a half one I was picking at in the pan. I went back to pick at it and it was gone. I asked Austin and he said no and I asked Lex and she said no, but I knew from the second I asked that she was lying. I asked again and she said no again. I looked at her with my all knowing eyes and she said yes. She was hungry, she said. Now I have been on her lately about how much she is eating. She doesn't need to eat more than Dave or I do. But she eats just as much if not more. I have tried to be gentle, I have tried to be supportive, I have tried to use logic and kindness and bribery, you name it but it feels like I am talking to a wall. So today I used truth. I don't know if I went over the line but if I don't say anything than it is the same as saying it is OK.

Today I showed her this pic. I told her what the fat does to her body. I told her about diabetes, I told her about lung disease and heart disease. I told her what fat is doing to her. She doesn't like me right now, but it seems like the one thing to say to her lately that motivates her is to tell her she is just like me. That seems to disgust her. So to say she is like me motivates her. She tells me all the time she is nothing like me. But if you put he next to me you will see the similarities from out heads to our toes.

I know I am fat. I have been working on it. I have acknowledged it and I will NOT accept it anymore. I have not allowed myself to eat after 9 for 3 days now. I have had water and I have cut back on the carbs. I will make it through this. I will make sure she will make it too. I will not let her fall between the cracks. I know she doesn't always like me. But I am OK with that. She will hear some hard truths from me, but I will also try not to say things to hurt her. It is hard to be a parent when all you want to do is give them everything they want and make everything OK and make everyone happy. But I know as a parent I will not be her friend. I will make her mad, I will hurt her feelings and I will have top put my foot down. I just have to make sure to not be a hypocrite.

Time for a prayer.

Dear God, Thank You for today. Thank You for the love of my family and friends. Thank You for a strong heart and a conscience to help me to make the right choices. Thank You for loving me, even when I feel I don't deserve it. Please be with my Grandma Kelly and my Uncle Marlin as they struggle with their health issues. In Your name we pray. Amen