Pig Headed Mule

I don't listen well. Never have, probably never will. It's not that I think myself superior, I just think that I know better. Ha Ha. I amuse myself. The person I feel I know better than at this point, and  today proved me wrong, is the E.R. doctor. When she told me my foot was not broke but it was sprained and that I needed to stay off of it for 2 to 4 weeks I didn't listen. It has been a week and a day. For the past 3 days I have hobbled around the house and went out on my crutches so I  wasn't on the foot to long. I have been feeling irritated by my lack of "strength" to push on. Since my foot isn't in a cast just bandaged I feel like  it is not as bad as it seems. Today I found out I was wrong.

My first mistake was flip flops. I only planned to trim the grape vines and do a little weeding, so I didn't figure I would need good shoes. In the end I was shoveling rock. I just told myself to put pressure on the other foot and I would be fine. Wrong again. It is 10 p.m. and my foot is killing me. I am a pig-headed fool. I want so badly to be able to do my work-outs, get my miles in and work hard that I haven't been letting myself truly get better. What angers me and saddens me is that tomorrow I know I will go to the gym. I wont be able to do much. I will stretch and do Pilate's before I hobble home, but I will go.

Thursday is the first weigh in and I need to do this. I will make it work. I am determined to win this contest. I will transform myself. By the end of the summer I will be a runner. The thing that is  killing me right now is the fact I cant go out and run in the woods. I cant even walk in the woods. All day outside my heart was saying, RUN! RUN! RUN! My head and my foot, and my family, said NO! NO! NO! I wanted to feel my heart quicken. I wanted the feel of the wind in my face. I wanted to feel like a winner, a competitor, a fighter. Instead I feel like a bench warmer and a people watcher.

I know it will be better in no time if I just behave. I hate behaving.


Dear God, Thank You for today! Thank You for the warm sun on my skin, for the soft breeze in my hair and the pain in my foot. Amen