Fear and Food

I will admit that when I am afraid I eat. I am a very emotional eater. I eat when I am happy, sad, afraid, depressed, overwhelmed, silly, whenever, bored, confussed. But I like to eat. I have been having some health issues as of late with my blood sugar. I get to feeling confused and dizzy and light headed and I feel stupid and nervous and shaky. I eat thenI am irritable and cranky and my skin hurts. Also my skin has been tingly lately. That pins and needles feeling. So I went to the dr last month and got some meds. Which I admit I havent been taking as I should. Tomorrows goal is to get back on med track. So I have been eating like crap and feeling like crap.

Well the past couple days for some reason I have been stressed and afraid for health and financial reasons and I have been eating like the world is ending and I have a two day pass to an all you can eat buffet that needs to be used. Non stop eating. Excuse after excuse. headache (literal) after headache. My mood sucks. I feel like a moose. I am snappy and cranky and tired. And damn I am so tired of my nose and lip and cheeks having that pins and needles feeling. It sucks. So I was at the pharmacy and I decided to get a glucose monitor. The OneTouch UltraMini. I could have waited til my insurance stopped being a P.I.T.A. but it was on sale so what the hell. Problem one. I didnt realize there were no test strips. So I will test it tomorrow.

Well I hope tomorrow is a better day. Its cleaning day around here. I am hoping that while clearing away the crap in my house I can clear away some of the crap in my head and my heart and find a way to treat myself like I should and love myself enough to do this right.

Quick prayer.
Dear God, Thank you for today. I know it might now have been the day I wanted it to be, but it was another day that you have given me and for that I am truely grateful. I need to learn that my strength lies in you. When I feel weak, when I feel confussed or tempted, it is you who will carry me. You are my rock. All I have to do is turn and ask with my whole heart and you will provide. Amen.















OMG my dog flippin has the nastiest gas. UGH!!!!! I think she needs some clensing