A euphoric gain...

So since I lost my job I have been happy. I mean really really freaking happy. Tuesday I smiled. Wednesday I gardened. I laid in the sunlight and soaked it all in. I can honestly say that I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I spent a lot of time praying this past week. Asking God what it is I'm supposed to be doing. And everything I have been getting from him is home. I am supposed to be home. Financially we can make it. Everything is pointing to me being home for a while.

So I have been baking, and eating. I have been eating a lot. I am hoping that this is just a euphoric thing. Because I am going to be 300 pounds by Christmas at this rate. But I have to curb the munchies. So my question is am I munching because I am hungry, bored or depressed. I think there might still be some under lying resentment. But I don't think it is just the job thing. Or maybe it is just an excuse to eat. I guess I will talk to my therapist when she gets back. She had a death in the family so she is out for a few weeks. That's ok. I can afford to pay her anyway.

I miss Anytime Fitness. (Maybe this is my resentment?) I just want that to be known. I miss it a lot. I miss how good I felt when I was there. I miss the motivation. I miss the drive. I miss the desire. I knew that there was something there. A reason. I had to get up and do it. Here it is so easy to say I will do it in a little bit. I will do it after lunch. After the kids do this or after I do that. Then the day is over and I haven't done anything. I miss Anytime Fitness.

Wow I just saw a picture of myself. I knew I was fat, but wow. I guess the Euphoric gain just hit a not so euphoric end. I'm so not Happy right now!

~~~~CANCUN HERE WE COME!!!~~~~

!!We are almost into Mexico!!

It has been a long road. But I cant tell you how proud I am of all of us. We have all had our challenges but we all continue. I am hoping that after we make it to Mexico we will work on making it somewhere else. This is the two week break down.

Dana week one: 25 miles and week 2: 25

Mom week one: 16 miles and week 2: 12

Micci week one:16 miles and week 2: 18

Kritty week one:16 miles and week 2: 18

Tina week one: 20 week 2: 3

Becky week one:  week 2:

Stephanie week 2: 12

Alexis week one: 3 week 2: 3

total miles into the trip 1226. We are about 20 miles north of Corpus Christi. We are also only 200 miles from Mexico.

I am going to be add miles this week. I may not have Anytime Fitness but I have a picture that makes me realize that I am nowhere near where I thought I was.

'

That is me in the black. Now remember I have already lost 20 pounds. The one in the tank next to me is my sister Micci (Mickey like the mouse) next to her is my other sister Dana and last but certainly not least is my amazing mom! We were out for Dana's birthday. I was feeling confident and sexy that night. I don't feel that now looking at the pic.

Well I need to say a prayer and get back to work. There is life to get to and promises I need to fulfil to myself and God. 

Dear God, Thank You for today. Thank You for the messages you have given me. I am trying harder to listen more and talk less. Thank You for making the transition easy. For opening my heart and not being bitter. Thank You for my loving husband and my wonderful family and friends. I am so very blessed. God please be with those who are suffering.Please be with Jenny while she is dealing with the loss of her dad. She is struggling and she needs your help. Please watch over those who are lost whether it be to addiction, depression or mental illness, please help them to fight the demons that others can not see. Please help me to be strong down this road, God. I am weak, but I know with You. I can make it. In Your name we pray. Amen